Water Colours, Magnetic Poetry, and a Harmonica

Take my heart while you're at it, why don't you?

10 notes

Pre-IUD Text Talk.

Hannah:
I started my period today, so I'll be with you in uterine spirit. Is S taking you?
Breanna:
Yesss. Thanks, good uterine vibes. He is taking me...I have been reading all these insertion stories and these girls had people go with them and hold their hands. But I feel like that's asking a lot to have him come hold my handbag!
Breanna:
*HAND!
Hannah:
Lol, hold my handbag, S!
Hannah:
Maybe you should bring something to squeeze. Omg, what if you brought a fake hand to hold?
Breanna:
Like, stopped at party city and bought one of those that looked like they got cut off?
Hannah:
Yes! The nurse would die!
Breanna:
Maybe I should bring my wand.
Hannah:
No, they might mistake it for a gyno tool!
Breanna:
Oh gosh, they'd use THAT to dilate my cervix instead.
Hannah:
Is there a spell for that?
Breanna:
Unfortunately, I have never come across a spell for making IUD Insertion more pleasant. Witch burning, on the other hand...
Hannah:
IUD-ess Insertus! Hermione would know.

Filed under iud insertion iud my poor uterus so scared my friends rock

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