Water Colours, Magnetic Poetry, and a Harmonica

thegoddamnblogman: Harley Quinn - Mike DeBalfo & Ula Mos |...

Thu, 23 May 2013 00:37:28 -0600

Harley Quinn - Mike DeBalfo & Ula Mos | More | Harleen Quinzel

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Wed, 22 May 2013 22:26:11 -0600

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Tue, 21 May 2013 21:29:30 -0600

Juice Fast: A Reflection.

Tue, 21 May 2013 19:55:55 -0600

Ah, my first juice face.
First.
See what I did there?

This was my last juice of the fast.
On Sunday night.
My twelfth day.

I went twelve days on a juice fast.

At first, I felt like a failure for ending on day 12. I wanted to do 20 or 30 or 40. I had let myself down. But when I really thought about it…how many people can say that have even done a fast for one day, let alone 12 days?

Not many.

And really, who was this juice fast about? A bunch of other people?
No way.
This was about me.

My journey to better health. My journey to a clearer mind. My journey to self healing.

Did I achieve these things?
Sort of.

I learned a lot about my body. My body is a wonderful, powerful, and beautiful thing. It can adapt to all different environments and nutrition, but my body thrives most on fruits and vegetables. I honestly never appreciated my body more than the 12 days I was on this fast…I felt amazing. I had so much energy, no weight dragging me down. I felt on top of the world…I was doing something I never thought possible—living entirely on juice and water.

But then something changed…

The juice started to taste gross to me. I was NOT juicing enough…and I definitely was not drinking enough water. I was no longer juicing for my health, but for other reasons…and this is why I decided to stop.

On Monday morning, what would have been Day 13, I went for a run. When I came back home, I was still unsure of what I was going to do, so I picked up an apple, washed it, and took a bite of it.

Nothing crazy happened.
My body did not object.
I did not spit it out.

I chewed.
I swallowed.

Then I decided I was done. There is nothing like that first apple after no food for 12 days. I had never really appreciated what it was like to bite into something so juicy and so sweet, to really savour the flavour.

Eating is a wonderful thing, ya’ll.

A couple of hours and three grocery stores in search of a ripe avocado later, I had this deliciousness.

Avocado with Himalayan pink salt, pepper, lime, and chili powder.

You know I had been waiting 12 days for this baby. All I could think about the whole time was avocado. It was just as delicious as it looks.

A couple of hours later, I had another small apple with sunflower seed butter. I started to feel really full after that. I mean really, really full. I even contemplated going back to juice only. I was like, “Cool, I had my food fix, now let’s juice.” But I did not. I actually got a headache within the first ten minutes of eating that first apple. I became sluggish throughout the day as well.

For dinner at work that night, I had this.

Simple, but beautiful. This is mainly what I have been living on the past couple of days. Raw veggies, avocados, seasonings, olive oil, balsamic, and fruits with sunflower seed butter.

Oh, and this.

Perfect.

Tonight I decided to give my digestive system a break for dinner and made a green smoothie.

Almond milk, peaches, strawberries, lime, mint, spinach.

For the next few days, I am trying to eat mostly raw. Only veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds. I miss grains and beans, but I want to wait a few days before I incorporate those into my diet.

I am excited to start making more raw recipes.
I am excited to chew.

I just feel so full.

To break the fast or not to break the fast?

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:09:25 -0600

Last night I was determined I would break the fast today.
It just felt right.
I even had a dream about it last night.

But I am scared to start eating food.
And I am scared of being a failure.

I know in my heart that, no matter when I break this fast, any type of fasting is an accomplishment. Even if I break it today, on Day 13, 12 days of juice detox is a huge accomplishment…and more than a lot of people have done.

I want to continue fasting, but I just know my heart is not in it. I am fasting for the wrong reasons…for weight loss, for control, for familiarity. I am no longer fasting for health or for detox.

That means I need to stop…right?

Juice Fast Day 12.

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:39:00 -0600

I am honestly considering breaking my fast tomorrow.
I am just SO sick of juice.

I am sick of everything.

I spend hours of my day obsessing over recipes on Pinterest and when I am not doing that, I am watching food shows on Netflix, and when I am not doing that, I am cleaning my juicer/making juice.

I am just over it.

I do not feel like my body is cleansing anymore. I feel like my body is at a war with me. I am constantly craving nuts and seeds and avocados. Clearly I need fat in my diet.

The thought of a fruit juice makes me want to gag because it tastes like syrup and the thought of a vegetables juice makes me…actually, now that I think about it a green juice does sound good.

I am at a loss. I want food. I want to cook. I want to eat, but I do not want to gain any weight back.

But I really do not want any juice.
At all.

I keep feeling like I would rather not eat anything at all than drink juice. If I cannot keep myself motivated to juice, I am doing my body harm. Starving myself by only drinking 2 juices a day is not healthy and is definitely not helping in this detox.

My stomach hurts.

Honestly, all I can think about is a cold green smoothie in the morning loaded with nut butters and fruits…and a delicious raw salad with smashed avocado and lemon juice.

What am I going to do?

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Sun, 19 May 2013 10:11:56 -0600

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Sun, 19 May 2013 09:51:36 -0600

"As a child I never heard one woman say to me, “I love my body.” Not my mother, my elder sister, my..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 09:50:08 -0600

“As a child I never heard one woman say to me, “I love my body.” Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend. No one woman has ever said, “I am so proud of my body.” So I make sure to say it to Mia, because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age.”

- Kate Winslet (via wrists)

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Sun, 19 May 2013 09:43:02 -0600

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Sun, 19 May 2013 09:25:18 -0600

"Probably to a fault in my own personal relationships I’ve struggled with this overpowering..."

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:03:59 -0600

“Probably to a fault in my own personal relationships I’ve struggled with this overpowering compassion. Just last night I was talking with a friend about an ex-partner who I was with for five years, and then when we broke up I spent two years trying to make it work as a friendship. People told me to let it go, that it was too painful, it wasn’t normal—but to me it felt so profoundly sad that I would completely detach from this person who I had this intense, wonderful relationship with, who knew me so well and who I shared such compassion with even if there were things about our relationship that became wrong or difficult. I witnessed that with my parents’ friendship: when they broke up they had to overcome terrible things between them, but they put those things aside to raise us—at least, they put those things aside in a way that made those things not our responsibility. I grew up with that forgiving compassion around me, and for me, that’s the real struggle, however passionate or hurt we feel. There’s this panic to make it okay, to make the person happy, to be forgiven.”

- Sara Quin (via fuckyeahtrqskq)

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Sat, 18 May 2013 23:03:15 -0600

Juice Fast Day 10.

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:20:01 -0600

Day 10.

Ten days ago, I never would have thought I would make it to this day.

This is my juice corner.

Today was much better than yesterday. I was able to actually stomach juice, but I had to use way more fruits than vegetables. The only veggies I got in my juice today were romaine and cucumber—probably the most mild veggies out there. I only had three juices though. My breakfast juice was 25 ounces and the other two were 12 ounces.

This is not enough juice.

I have also been craving nuts, avocados, and coconuts like nobody’s business. I guess that means I am not getting enough fats?

Last night and tonight, I had store bough organic vegetable broth for dinner. I know this is not healthy like my homemade juice and I know I should be juicing for dinner but, quite frankly, I am sick of my juicer. I am sick of vegetables. I am sick of cleaning that damn juicer. I am sick of washing vegetables. I am sick of the taste, the smell, the texture.

I want food.
I want to chew.
I want to go out to dinner with friends.
I want to make homemade veggie burgers.
I want a salad. A huge salad filled with kale, avocados, salt, pepper, and lime.
I want a green smoothie.
I want vegan pizza.
I want a bowl of brown rice.
I want sriracha covered steamed kale.
I want brunch. Ah, brunch.
I want homemade Ezekiel bread smeared with Earth Balance and nooch.
I want Gimme Lean sausage patties dipped in agave.
I want banana soft serve.
I want a big spoonful of peanut butter.
I want raw spring rolls.
I want avocado sushi.
I want an avocado. Just that.

Please?

I know I need to juice more. I know I do. I know juicing more will help give me the nutrients I need to detox and give me the energy to function.

I am just SO sick of it. I would just as soon not eat than make any juice at all.

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Thu, 16 May 2013 20:31:36 -0600

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Thu, 16 May 2013 20:25:26 -0600

I want to start the juice fast to lose weight, so i was wondering how many pounds have you lost for being on the fast for a week? thank you xx

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:16:01 -0600

I have lost eight pounds in nine days!

However, that might be water weight…I will have to see if I gain any weight back once I start eating solid food again.

Juice Fast Day 9.

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:15:00 -0600

Yesterday, day 8, I felt wonderful.
So wonderful I forgot to blog.

Today has been rough.

I made a juice for lunch with dandelion greens and it made my juice taste disgusting.

I am afraid I am turned off of juice forever. The thought of juice disgusts me. I came home today and made a cup of vegetable broth instead of juice because I almost gag every time I think about it.

Maybe that is my body telling me to stop?

All I want to do is eat an avocado with salt and pepper and lime.
And Sriracha.

I am not sure what to do. I want to continue juicing, but it grosses me out thinking about it all of a sudden. I wanted to continue losing weight.

Today I weighed 151.
I weighed 159 nine days ago.

Help.

*EDIT
I decided I am going to drink loads of water tonight, get plenty of rest, and wake up tomorrow to see how I feel about juice.

Looks like your juicing is going great!! Where are you getting your recipe ideas? I am going on a juice fast soon and i am feeling overwhelmed as to where to start looking for recipes...

Tue, 14 May 2013 22:24:35 -0600

I actually just started the fast on a whim so I went to the store, bought as many fruits and veggies as I could find, and threw them into the juicer at random. Ha!

I actually just noticed that on the Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead Reboot website, they have tons of recipes! http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/category/blog/recipes/juice/page/5/

Check those out!

Juice Fast Day 7.

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:09:32 -0600

Day seven.

I cannot believe I am on day seven. I can say with one hundred percent certainty that this was way easier than I thought it would be. I was always terrified of a juice fast…terrified of the hunger, terrified of the lack of fiber.

But I feel amazing. I have so much energy. I feel thinner, I look thinner. I am barely even thinking about that stupid break up and that stupid.

[Lies—just about the boy though]

I thought I was going to only make it three days.
Then I thought I would only make it a week.

But three days and a week have passed and I am at a fork in the road. Do I continue fasting? Do I break my fast and start eating raw food? Something tells me to keep doing the former.

I guess I will see how I feel tomorrow.